What started out as a promising week last week went to the crapper. My 5 year old son got a SEVERE Food Allergy, so we think. But nobody knows what caused the reaction. He got hives and red all over and then it was a rash, and two days later it somehow got worse and there wasn't a part of his body that wasn't itchy or red or Hivey. Thankfully after a visit to the Hospital, the Pediatrician and the Dermatologist he got some medication and the rash started going down.
Hopefully this Thanksgiving week will be better! I just have to remeber to carry a medicine kit on me at all times.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
It's Veteran's Day! It's almost Thanksgiving, and Christmas is upon us, yipee!
Today I can truly appreciate being a Stay at Home Parent. If I would've been working I'd be under major amounts of stress with the "Who's going to watch the kids while I work" routine. No longer! I woke up at 9:00, which under normal circumstances is late for me. Had my coffee, surfed the net and pretty soon I'm getting some housework done.
The kids already made their Christmas lists and are quietly playing.
Do you hear that? It's the sound of a Stress Free Zone, peace and tranquility. All is well!
Today I can truly appreciate being a Stay at Home Parent. If I would've been working I'd be under major amounts of stress with the "Who's going to watch the kids while I work" routine. No longer! I woke up at 9:00, which under normal circumstances is late for me. Had my coffee, surfed the net and pretty soon I'm getting some housework done.
The kids already made their Christmas lists and are quietly playing.
Do you hear that? It's the sound of a Stress Free Zone, peace and tranquility. All is well!
Friday, November 09, 2007
Moving ...
After Boyfriend read to previous entry he decided to see things from a different perspective and proceeded to contact Girlfriend, who in turn listened to everything he felt and thought and expected, all this was explained in a very calm manner. She then proceeded to share with him her feelings, thoughts and expectations. So they are moving forward, hopefully with very little detours along the way.
Moving Forward or Moving on?
Here's the scenario (the summary version cause if not I'd be writing till tomorrow, and the summary is long enough):
Boyfriend calls Girlfriend early yesterday to tell her that he has a business meeting at seven, that that meeting should take no longer than two hours and that after said meeting he'd like to come over and spend some time with her cause things have been rocky between them lately. Why you may ask yourself (or not) have things been rocky, and if you're reading this my guess is you want to know.
So, like in every relationship both people pull in their own direction at times, wanting the other person to Respect, Validate, Consider and Value them and their feelings. Unfortunately for Boyfriend and Girlfriend that has been a source of contention all week.
Anyway (crutch word), at 8:30 Boyfriend calls Girlfriend and tells her the meeting is over and that he's going out to eat and have some drinks with his coworkers, therefore, considering the amount of time it takes to eat, Girlfriend realizes her man's not going to come over at a reasonably decent and acceptable time. She then proceeds to tell him to go out and be with his coworkers, that although dissapointed with this turn of events, she understands, and that they'll just do something together at some other time, maybe they can still have breakfast the following day.
Boyfriend gets upset because he thinks Girlfriend isn't being supportive enough, this is important to him, it was last minute, yadayadayada. Again Girlfriend tells him she understands, that she's dissapointed because she hasn't really spent time with him this past week, and although he may not take that into account, she was looking forward to spending some quality time together and talking to another grown up about the happenings in their respective lives and just wanting the comfort that comes from being with someone you love. She feels that if being with her was important to him he would've found a way to make it work and be both a Team player (work) and a good respectful partner (personal).
For example He could've:
A) Told his co workers that he would go have a drink with them and stay for a bit since he had made previous arrangements with Girlfriend and he was looking forward to being with her, hence he could excuse himself at 9:30, buy Drive Thru and get to his Girlfriend's house at the previously agreed time.
B) He could've gone with his coworkers called Girlfriend and verified if it was okay with her to get there before 10:30, genuinely apologize for bumping her and rescheduling, and proceeded to then make it up to her in some other way (that's called consideration and respect for your partners feelings).
Either scenario would've been acceptable, that's a COMPROMISE, he would've fulfilled both being a team player and a good Boyfriend.
Fast forward to the following morning, Boyfriend and Girlfriend had decided to meet up at her house at 7:30am and have breakfast. At 7:15 Boyfriend calls to ask Girlfriend to come over to his apartment because he's hungover and just can't get up. Girlfriend kindly tells him that:
A) they had already made previous arrangements that didn't include going to his apartment, so that was a no go
B) that every action has a consequence and HE and only HE chose to stay up till God knows when and party like a Rockstar knowing that he had made arrangements for early the next morning
C) that she had no problem meeting up with him at a later hour so he could sleep it off.
A situation that could've been remedied if:
A) Boyfriend, knowing he had made new plans to see the Girlfriend he'd already dissapointed the night before would've partied less and gotten some rest so he could be with her as agreed,
or B)Even if he was dying, Boyfriend could've gotten out of bed and shown up at the accorded time, cause Girlfriend shouldn't have to pay for his bad judgement.
Anyway (crutch word), what has Girlfriend learned?
A) that her feelings and needs are not a priority to Boyfriend. Girlfriend understood that Boyfriend wanted to have a drink, and that's fine, he doesn't do this every night, it's completely acceptable to her that he has some HIM time, but that time shouldn't conflict with THEIR previously arranged time. But for lack of consideration and respect to Girlfriend on Boyfriends behalf, the way he handled the situation is just plain unacceptable.
B) That he really likes Girlfriend, maybe even loves her, he's just not that into her, he's okay with dissapointing her.
C) That although he says that he understands her position it's obvious he doesn't or he wouldn't have bumped her yet again the following morning.
Is Girlfriend being unreasonable, or does Boyfriend need to get a clue?
By the By, in Boyfriends line of work it is required that in order to come up with an acceptable solution to any situation you must do research, a lot of times you have to COMPROMISE and always show your clients RESPECT.
In the client's opinion, Boyfriend didn't do his job right, maybe she should fire him and move on.
Boyfriend calls Girlfriend early yesterday to tell her that he has a business meeting at seven, that that meeting should take no longer than two hours and that after said meeting he'd like to come over and spend some time with her cause things have been rocky between them lately. Why you may ask yourself (or not) have things been rocky, and if you're reading this my guess is you want to know.
So, like in every relationship both people pull in their own direction at times, wanting the other person to Respect, Validate, Consider and Value them and their feelings. Unfortunately for Boyfriend and Girlfriend that has been a source of contention all week.
Anyway (crutch word), at 8:30 Boyfriend calls Girlfriend and tells her the meeting is over and that he's going out to eat and have some drinks with his coworkers, therefore, considering the amount of time it takes to eat, Girlfriend realizes her man's not going to come over at a reasonably decent and acceptable time. She then proceeds to tell him to go out and be with his coworkers, that although dissapointed with this turn of events, she understands, and that they'll just do something together at some other time, maybe they can still have breakfast the following day.
Boyfriend gets upset because he thinks Girlfriend isn't being supportive enough, this is important to him, it was last minute, yadayadayada. Again Girlfriend tells him she understands, that she's dissapointed because she hasn't really spent time with him this past week, and although he may not take that into account, she was looking forward to spending some quality time together and talking to another grown up about the happenings in their respective lives and just wanting the comfort that comes from being with someone you love. She feels that if being with her was important to him he would've found a way to make it work and be both a Team player (work) and a good respectful partner (personal).
For example He could've:
A) Told his co workers that he would go have a drink with them and stay for a bit since he had made previous arrangements with Girlfriend and he was looking forward to being with her, hence he could excuse himself at 9:30, buy Drive Thru and get to his Girlfriend's house at the previously agreed time.
B) He could've gone with his coworkers called Girlfriend and verified if it was okay with her to get there before 10:30, genuinely apologize for bumping her and rescheduling, and proceeded to then make it up to her in some other way (that's called consideration and respect for your partners feelings).
Either scenario would've been acceptable, that's a COMPROMISE, he would've fulfilled both being a team player and a good Boyfriend.
Fast forward to the following morning, Boyfriend and Girlfriend had decided to meet up at her house at 7:30am and have breakfast. At 7:15 Boyfriend calls to ask Girlfriend to come over to his apartment because he's hungover and just can't get up. Girlfriend kindly tells him that:
A) they had already made previous arrangements that didn't include going to his apartment, so that was a no go
B) that every action has a consequence and HE and only HE chose to stay up till God knows when and party like a Rockstar knowing that he had made arrangements for early the next morning
C) that she had no problem meeting up with him at a later hour so he could sleep it off.
A situation that could've been remedied if:
A) Boyfriend, knowing he had made new plans to see the Girlfriend he'd already dissapointed the night before would've partied less and gotten some rest so he could be with her as agreed,
or B)Even if he was dying, Boyfriend could've gotten out of bed and shown up at the accorded time, cause Girlfriend shouldn't have to pay for his bad judgement.
Anyway (crutch word), what has Girlfriend learned?
A) that her feelings and needs are not a priority to Boyfriend. Girlfriend understood that Boyfriend wanted to have a drink, and that's fine, he doesn't do this every night, it's completely acceptable to her that he has some HIM time, but that time shouldn't conflict with THEIR previously arranged time. But for lack of consideration and respect to Girlfriend on Boyfriends behalf, the way he handled the situation is just plain unacceptable.
B) That he really likes Girlfriend, maybe even loves her, he's just not that into her, he's okay with dissapointing her.
C) That although he says that he understands her position it's obvious he doesn't or he wouldn't have bumped her yet again the following morning.
Is Girlfriend being unreasonable, or does Boyfriend need to get a clue?
By the By, in Boyfriends line of work it is required that in order to come up with an acceptable solution to any situation you must do research, a lot of times you have to COMPROMISE and always show your clients RESPECT.
In the client's opinion, Boyfriend didn't do his job right, maybe she should fire him and move on.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
The Brain Dump
After reading my friend Gil's blog (gilthejenius) I can say I am a waiter, but I'm also a writer. I have waited to write in order to experience as much as possible and then put it into words. I haven't sat down to write like this in quite awhile, so I'm a bit rusty. I could say life got in my way, work got in my way, insecurity, lack of confidence in my abilities, laziness, and a whole bunch of other things, and yet none are justified excuses to stop doing something one is passionate about, good at and that I find enjoyable and calming.
For the last two years and two days my time, efforts and knowledge were dedicated to working at "the office", and after two years of work and dedication I find myself unemployed once again. I feel out of sorts, like a toddler I am wobbly and scared of walking for fear that I may fall and no one will be there to catch me. I find myself in a new skin that's essentialy and old skin and I've yet to figure out if it still fits or if I've outgrown it.
I enjoy working out of the house, interacting with others, if I'm making a paycheck it means I'm being productive, right? After all one doesn't get paid to be a parent, not moneywise, so does that mean that as a New Stay at Home Parent I'm being unproductive. Is my work as a Mom less valuable because I'm not "earning a living"?
It's frustrating for me to live in a society where a woman's work, sacrifice and dedication is still belittled by many and mocked by other's.
Two years of juggling work and parenting, and in the end parenting won out. There will always be work that anybody can do, that's why family must always come first.
I feel out of sorts right now, I feel lonely, sometimes angry, mostly excited about the fact that now I can pick my kids up from school and do homework, come and go as I please.
I look forward to new experiences and learning to walk on my own two feet. In the mean time I'll wobble, and scrape my knees and cry, and I'll continue to get up and try again, until I get the hang of it.
For the last two years and two days my time, efforts and knowledge were dedicated to working at "the office", and after two years of work and dedication I find myself unemployed once again. I feel out of sorts, like a toddler I am wobbly and scared of walking for fear that I may fall and no one will be there to catch me. I find myself in a new skin that's essentialy and old skin and I've yet to figure out if it still fits or if I've outgrown it.
I enjoy working out of the house, interacting with others, if I'm making a paycheck it means I'm being productive, right? After all one doesn't get paid to be a parent, not moneywise, so does that mean that as a New Stay at Home Parent I'm being unproductive. Is my work as a Mom less valuable because I'm not "earning a living"?
It's frustrating for me to live in a society where a woman's work, sacrifice and dedication is still belittled by many and mocked by other's.
Two years of juggling work and parenting, and in the end parenting won out. There will always be work that anybody can do, that's why family must always come first.
I feel out of sorts right now, I feel lonely, sometimes angry, mostly excited about the fact that now I can pick my kids up from school and do homework, come and go as I please.
I look forward to new experiences and learning to walk on my own two feet. In the mean time I'll wobble, and scrape my knees and cry, and I'll continue to get up and try again, until I get the hang of it.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Quick Notes
Been busy, busy, busy!
1. Miss Universe Pageant is to Puerto Rico as Super Bowl is to U.S.A.
My two eldest daughters and I did the Miss Universe annual ritual complete with Chips, Dip and Soda. Usually there are more people involved (like my siblings) but given that they are currently not on the island, this year it was just me and the girls.
So we each have pen and paper (this year crayons) and we write the top 20, then the top ten, finally we each pick the first runner up and the winner.
Both Ericka & Sara were rooting for Japan, I was rooting for Puerto Rico. I WON!!!
Well actually she won, but it's nice that our little island is once again in the public eye.
It's not rocket science I know, but still I enjoy seeing people from my island succeed in sports, art, music or beauty pageants.
2. CLICK
Went to watch it on my daughters birthday. I'd never seen my 8 yr. old cry with such feeling. Although I couldn't enjoy the whole film (lots of bathroom breaks and arguments over soda & popcorn) what I did watch I liked a lot. It's not what you would normally expect from an Adam Sandler film, but in my personal opinion it is a worthwhile film to see, and it has a great message....it's all about the little things.
;oDD
1. Miss Universe Pageant is to Puerto Rico as Super Bowl is to U.S.A.
My two eldest daughters and I did the Miss Universe annual ritual complete with Chips, Dip and Soda. Usually there are more people involved (like my siblings) but given that they are currently not on the island, this year it was just me and the girls.
So we each have pen and paper (this year crayons) and we write the top 20, then the top ten, finally we each pick the first runner up and the winner.
Both Ericka & Sara were rooting for Japan, I was rooting for Puerto Rico. I WON!!!
Well actually she won, but it's nice that our little island is once again in the public eye.
It's not rocket science I know, but still I enjoy seeing people from my island succeed in sports, art, music or beauty pageants.
2. CLICK
Went to watch it on my daughters birthday. I'd never seen my 8 yr. old cry with such feeling. Although I couldn't enjoy the whole film (lots of bathroom breaks and arguments over soda & popcorn) what I did watch I liked a lot. It's not what you would normally expect from an Adam Sandler film, but in my personal opinion it is a worthwhile film to see, and it has a great message....it's all about the little things.
;oDD
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
It has been a rough week (aren't they mostly). Some highlights and some aarrgghh- does- it- ever- end, moments.
Highlights:
1- Going to the movies (rarely can, it's so expensive) and watching Superman Returns. We all enjoyed it, although my four year old son kept asking when Spiderman was going to appear (not till next summer, in his own movie), and where did the X Men go (soon to a DVD near you).
2- Doing all of my laundry. It's a rarerity to see the clothes hampers completely empty.
3- Quick and tasty cooking. I have to thank a couple of appliances and products for this. So Thanks to: George Foreman's Grill, the microwave oven, and Uncle Ben's Ready Rice (90 seconds and it's done).
4- Holidays. They are a great way to catch up on household work.
5- Weekly Fieldtrip to Local Bookstore. Inexpensive way to spend quality time with kids, promote reading and interaction with others of similar age, and gets everyone out of the house.
6- Baby Shower at cousin's house. The kids got all dirty and sweaty and had tons of fun. It's great to see that what was once an all female event has gradually turned into a family, couples event. Lots of men and kids at the Baby Shower and everyone had a blast. Progress, one of Life's little miracles.
7- My four year old daughter "washing dishes", the fact that she did it voluntarily. For a four year old she did pretty good. I had to rewash some things, but considering her age, she did great. She's so amazing and helpful, smart and caring. One must remember to promote that behavior.
8- My two eldest daughters philosophizing over Superman and how clueless everyone in the movie is. Hello, don't they realize that whenever Clark is around, Superman isn't and vice versa. Gee, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that there was no Clark and no Superman for five years, Clark comes back, and what do you know, there's Superman again.(If everything were that obvious...)
Now some aarrgghh-does-it-ever-end moments:
1- TIRED. No matter how many breaks I take between chores, I'm eternally tired.
2- The temper tantrum my son threw at local bookstore when it was time to leave. He's a child, he's four, he has yet to find a productive way to channel his inner diva. I can handle all of that, he'll outgrow it (hopefully soon!). What I cannot handle is Non Parental Units (NPU) and some Parental Units (PU) staring at me while my child has a tantrum. The way I see it (my opinion, you can agree to disagree), if I were to spank him or firmly reprimand him some would think I was a bad parent for taking that type of action. On the other hand, if I just ignore it and try to draw his attention to something else, some NPU's and PU's stare as if I were the worst parent in the world for not doing something about his "bad behavior". In the word's of Eleanor Roosevelet "You're damned if you do, damned if you don't".
3- My eldest daughter's (Ericka) constant whining and her attempts at negotiating EVERYTHING. Are all eleven year olds as proficient at whining, manupulating and negotiating as mine, or do I have the exception? I love her to death, she's brilliant, funny, and very creative, but does fingernails on a chalkboard bring any images to mind. Well that's the feeling. Everyday. Constantly.
4- Loneliness. Yup, sometimes I feel that being a single parent is equal to having a highly contagious disease, or like kicking small dogs for the hell of it ( I would never do that by the way). It would be nice to be just Diana more often, and talk about other things besides SpongeBob, Teen Titans, and every other show on Cartoon Network, Noggin, Nickelodeon and The Disney Channel.
In conclusion, if we refer to the previous lists there are more highlights than aarrgghh-does-it-ever-end-moments, so in actuality it wasn't such a bad week.
;oDD
Highlights:
1- Going to the movies (rarely can, it's so expensive) and watching Superman Returns. We all enjoyed it, although my four year old son kept asking when Spiderman was going to appear (not till next summer, in his own movie), and where did the X Men go (soon to a DVD near you).
2- Doing all of my laundry. It's a rarerity to see the clothes hampers completely empty.
3- Quick and tasty cooking. I have to thank a couple of appliances and products for this. So Thanks to: George Foreman's Grill, the microwave oven, and Uncle Ben's Ready Rice (90 seconds and it's done).
4- Holidays. They are a great way to catch up on household work.
5- Weekly Fieldtrip to Local Bookstore. Inexpensive way to spend quality time with kids, promote reading and interaction with others of similar age, and gets everyone out of the house.
6- Baby Shower at cousin's house. The kids got all dirty and sweaty and had tons of fun. It's great to see that what was once an all female event has gradually turned into a family, couples event. Lots of men and kids at the Baby Shower and everyone had a blast. Progress, one of Life's little miracles.
7- My four year old daughter "washing dishes", the fact that she did it voluntarily. For a four year old she did pretty good. I had to rewash some things, but considering her age, she did great. She's so amazing and helpful, smart and caring. One must remember to promote that behavior.
8- My two eldest daughters philosophizing over Superman and how clueless everyone in the movie is. Hello, don't they realize that whenever Clark is around, Superman isn't and vice versa. Gee, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that there was no Clark and no Superman for five years, Clark comes back, and what do you know, there's Superman again.(If everything were that obvious...)
Now some aarrgghh-does-it-ever-end moments:
1- TIRED. No matter how many breaks I take between chores, I'm eternally tired.
2- The temper tantrum my son threw at local bookstore when it was time to leave. He's a child, he's four, he has yet to find a productive way to channel his inner diva. I can handle all of that, he'll outgrow it (hopefully soon!). What I cannot handle is Non Parental Units (NPU) and some Parental Units (PU) staring at me while my child has a tantrum. The way I see it (my opinion, you can agree to disagree), if I were to spank him or firmly reprimand him some would think I was a bad parent for taking that type of action. On the other hand, if I just ignore it and try to draw his attention to something else, some NPU's and PU's stare as if I were the worst parent in the world for not doing something about his "bad behavior". In the word's of Eleanor Roosevelet "You're damned if you do, damned if you don't".
3- My eldest daughter's (Ericka) constant whining and her attempts at negotiating EVERYTHING. Are all eleven year olds as proficient at whining, manupulating and negotiating as mine, or do I have the exception? I love her to death, she's brilliant, funny, and very creative, but does fingernails on a chalkboard bring any images to mind. Well that's the feeling. Everyday. Constantly.
4- Loneliness. Yup, sometimes I feel that being a single parent is equal to having a highly contagious disease, or like kicking small dogs for the hell of it ( I would never do that by the way). It would be nice to be just Diana more often, and talk about other things besides SpongeBob, Teen Titans, and every other show on Cartoon Network, Noggin, Nickelodeon and The Disney Channel.
In conclusion, if we refer to the previous lists there are more highlights than aarrgghh-does-it-ever-end-moments, so in actuality it wasn't such a bad week.
;oDD
Sunday, June 25, 2006
So Begins the Journey
As a working single parent with four (4) children between the ages of four and eleven, two of which are twins (the four year olds), having an ongoing need to connect with others through the written word, and among other things,writing T.I.P.S. (tipsnewsletter.blogspot.com) for some time and hitting a no flow stage in my writing about customer service, finding that I had other things to comment on and get of my chest, having a profound conversation on my life versus his with my older brother, and needing a way to decompress from daily pressures, frustations and life in general... I've decided to keep a "journal" of my life adventures or misadventures.
In the process I'll hopefully meet and hear from likeminded people in my situation, or one similar, who will be willing to provide input, anecdotes, some support, and the knowledge that although I may think I am completely and utterly alone, that indeed I am not. That there is a world out there of single parents who just like me are on the verge of something great!
So feel free to join me and be sure to look around every corner, you never know where you'll find your second wind.
" Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." (anonymous)
;oDD
In the process I'll hopefully meet and hear from likeminded people in my situation, or one similar, who will be willing to provide input, anecdotes, some support, and the knowledge that although I may think I am completely and utterly alone, that indeed I am not. That there is a world out there of single parents who just like me are on the verge of something great!
So feel free to join me and be sure to look around every corner, you never know where you'll find your second wind.
" Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." (anonymous)
;oDD
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