Here's the scenario (the summary version cause if not I'd be writing till tomorrow, and the summary is long enough):
Boyfriend calls Girlfriend early yesterday to tell her that he has a business meeting at seven, that that meeting should take no longer than two hours and that after said meeting he'd like to come over and spend some time with her cause things have been rocky between them lately. Why you may ask yourself (or not) have things been rocky, and if you're reading this my guess is you want to know.
So, like in every relationship both people pull in their own direction at times, wanting the other person to Respect, Validate, Consider and Value them and their feelings. Unfortunately for Boyfriend and Girlfriend that has been a source of contention all week.
Anyway (crutch word), at 8:30 Boyfriend calls Girlfriend and tells her the meeting is over and that he's going out to eat and have some drinks with his coworkers, therefore, considering the amount of time it takes to eat, Girlfriend realizes her man's not going to come over at a reasonably decent and acceptable time. She then proceeds to tell him to go out and be with his coworkers, that although dissapointed with this turn of events, she understands, and that they'll just do something together at some other time, maybe they can still have breakfast the following day.
Boyfriend gets upset because he thinks Girlfriend isn't being supportive enough, this is important to him, it was last minute, yadayadayada. Again Girlfriend tells him she understands, that she's dissapointed because she hasn't really spent time with him this past week, and although he may not take that into account, she was looking forward to spending some quality time together and talking to another grown up about the happenings in their respective lives and just wanting the comfort that comes from being with someone you love. She feels that if being with her was important to him he would've found a way to make it work and be both a Team player (work) and a good respectful partner (personal).
For example He could've:
A) Told his co workers that he would go have a drink with them and stay for a bit since he had made previous arrangements with Girlfriend and he was looking forward to being with her, hence he could excuse himself at 9:30, buy Drive Thru and get to his Girlfriend's house at the previously agreed time.
B) He could've gone with his coworkers called Girlfriend and verified if it was okay with her to get there before 10:30, genuinely apologize for bumping her and rescheduling, and proceeded to then make it up to her in some other way (that's called consideration and respect for your partners feelings).
Either scenario would've been acceptable, that's a COMPROMISE, he would've fulfilled both being a team player and a good Boyfriend.
Fast forward to the following morning, Boyfriend and Girlfriend had decided to meet up at her house at 7:30am and have breakfast. At 7:15 Boyfriend calls to ask Girlfriend to come over to his apartment because he's hungover and just can't get up. Girlfriend kindly tells him that:
A) they had already made previous arrangements that didn't include going to his apartment, so that was a no go
B) that every action has a consequence and HE and only HE chose to stay up till God knows when and party like a Rockstar knowing that he had made arrangements for early the next morning
C) that she had no problem meeting up with him at a later hour so he could sleep it off.
A situation that could've been remedied if:
A) Boyfriend, knowing he had made new plans to see the Girlfriend he'd already dissapointed the night before would've partied less and gotten some rest so he could be with her as agreed,
or B)Even if he was dying, Boyfriend could've gotten out of bed and shown up at the accorded time, cause Girlfriend shouldn't have to pay for his bad judgement.
Anyway (crutch word), what has Girlfriend learned?
A) that her feelings and needs are not a priority to Boyfriend. Girlfriend understood that Boyfriend wanted to have a drink, and that's fine, he doesn't do this every night, it's completely acceptable to her that he has some HIM time, but that time shouldn't conflict with THEIR previously arranged time. But for lack of consideration and respect to Girlfriend on Boyfriends behalf, the way he handled the situation is just plain unacceptable.
B) That he really likes Girlfriend, maybe even loves her, he's just not that into her, he's okay with dissapointing her.
C) That although he says that he understands her position it's obvious he doesn't or he wouldn't have bumped her yet again the following morning.
Is Girlfriend being unreasonable, or does Boyfriend need to get a clue?
By the By, in Boyfriends line of work it is required that in order to come up with an acceptable solution to any situation you must do research, a lot of times you have to COMPROMISE and always show your clients RESPECT.
In the client's opinion, Boyfriend didn't do his job right, maybe she should fire him and move on.
Boyfriend calls Girlfriend early yesterday to tell her that he has a business meeting at seven, that that meeting should take no longer than two hours and that after said meeting he'd like to come over and spend some time with her cause things have been rocky between them lately. Why you may ask yourself (or not) have things been rocky, and if you're reading this my guess is you want to know.
So, like in every relationship both people pull in their own direction at times, wanting the other person to Respect, Validate, Consider and Value them and their feelings. Unfortunately for Boyfriend and Girlfriend that has been a source of contention all week.
Anyway (crutch word), at 8:30 Boyfriend calls Girlfriend and tells her the meeting is over and that he's going out to eat and have some drinks with his coworkers, therefore, considering the amount of time it takes to eat, Girlfriend realizes her man's not going to come over at a reasonably decent and acceptable time. She then proceeds to tell him to go out and be with his coworkers, that although dissapointed with this turn of events, she understands, and that they'll just do something together at some other time, maybe they can still have breakfast the following day.
Boyfriend gets upset because he thinks Girlfriend isn't being supportive enough, this is important to him, it was last minute, yadayadayada. Again Girlfriend tells him she understands, that she's dissapointed because she hasn't really spent time with him this past week, and although he may not take that into account, she was looking forward to spending some quality time together and talking to another grown up about the happenings in their respective lives and just wanting the comfort that comes from being with someone you love. She feels that if being with her was important to him he would've found a way to make it work and be both a Team player (work) and a good respectful partner (personal).
For example He could've:
A) Told his co workers that he would go have a drink with them and stay for a bit since he had made previous arrangements with Girlfriend and he was looking forward to being with her, hence he could excuse himself at 9:30, buy Drive Thru and get to his Girlfriend's house at the previously agreed time.
B) He could've gone with his coworkers called Girlfriend and verified if it was okay with her to get there before 10:30, genuinely apologize for bumping her and rescheduling, and proceeded to then make it up to her in some other way (that's called consideration and respect for your partners feelings).
Either scenario would've been acceptable, that's a COMPROMISE, he would've fulfilled both being a team player and a good Boyfriend.
Fast forward to the following morning, Boyfriend and Girlfriend had decided to meet up at her house at 7:30am and have breakfast. At 7:15 Boyfriend calls to ask Girlfriend to come over to his apartment because he's hungover and just can't get up. Girlfriend kindly tells him that:
A) they had already made previous arrangements that didn't include going to his apartment, so that was a no go
B) that every action has a consequence and HE and only HE chose to stay up till God knows when and party like a Rockstar knowing that he had made arrangements for early the next morning
C) that she had no problem meeting up with him at a later hour so he could sleep it off.
A situation that could've been remedied if:
A) Boyfriend, knowing he had made new plans to see the Girlfriend he'd already dissapointed the night before would've partied less and gotten some rest so he could be with her as agreed,
or B)Even if he was dying, Boyfriend could've gotten out of bed and shown up at the accorded time, cause Girlfriend shouldn't have to pay for his bad judgement.
Anyway (crutch word), what has Girlfriend learned?
A) that her feelings and needs are not a priority to Boyfriend. Girlfriend understood that Boyfriend wanted to have a drink, and that's fine, he doesn't do this every night, it's completely acceptable to her that he has some HIM time, but that time shouldn't conflict with THEIR previously arranged time. But for lack of consideration and respect to Girlfriend on Boyfriends behalf, the way he handled the situation is just plain unacceptable.
B) That he really likes Girlfriend, maybe even loves her, he's just not that into her, he's okay with dissapointing her.
C) That although he says that he understands her position it's obvious he doesn't or he wouldn't have bumped her yet again the following morning.
Is Girlfriend being unreasonable, or does Boyfriend need to get a clue?
By the By, in Boyfriends line of work it is required that in order to come up with an acceptable solution to any situation you must do research, a lot of times you have to COMPROMISE and always show your clients RESPECT.
In the client's opinion, Boyfriend didn't do his job right, maybe she should fire him and move on.
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