I think it's inevitable to get nostalgic when one has reached a crossroads in their life, when one stands at that pitchfork in the road between what was, what is and what could be, and starts to wonder which road will take you to a spoon and the Hot Fudge Sundae (yum).
So right now I'm feeling nostalgic. Years ago I lived in the states, made friends, expirienced things differently than I do and did upon moving back to the island during those very impressionable teenage years. Throughout the twenty or so years I've been back here I've often wondered about the people I knew, what are they doing, where has the road of life taken them (that sort of thing). I realize that just because some of my friends from my "other life" pop into my head at times, that doesn't in any way mean I have ever popped into theirs. Still, when a find myself feeling out of sorts and wondering what's next, what do the Powers that be have in store for me, I ponder about my life, what was, what is and what could be.
The Boyfriend doesn't fully understand why I want to reconnect with people I haven't seen or spoken to in twenty years. He feels they've lived their lives, gotten married are working and are doing their thing. The thing is, these people were a part of who I was then and in some small way who I turned out to be as an adult.
I don't want to relive the past, I look forward to my future. I'm curious is all. My past is a part of my life, those expirences that I lived helped shape who I am today. My love of writing, and reading is a product of that time and my second grade teacher Mrs. Marcucci, who was one of the coolest teachers ever. I remember Judy Blume and Roald Dahl, field trips to the Public Library (I still have my library card), and writing for the school newspaper in fifth grade. I have tons of fond memories and wonder what became of Mrs. Marcucci. I wish I could let her know what a profound effect she had in my life, and how fondly I remember her and many of my other teachers and friends.
Nevertheless, while I become iluminated or get shoved in the right direction I'll enjoy my little side trip stroll down memory lane, no harm done afterall.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
Now What?
After 15 years I'm finally a college graduate! Wow!!!!! Now what?
Okay, the excitement is over, I've got a degree in English Literature. Now what?
Finding work is a challenge, for various reasons:
1-with the current state of economic affairs, companies are downsizing, closing or not hiring.
2- unemployment in Puerto Rico is very high right now.
3- I'm limited in my amount of available working hours since I have four children I need to raise and very little, if no help in that department.
4- on the island, there doesn't seem to exist any outside resources or programs to aid single parents who want to have a better quality of life for their children and themselves. (If there are any I am unaware of them)
I love to write and communicate, it's a passion I've had since I was a child, when I used to write "Barbie Goes Bowling" stories in my spiral notebooks. I also think I'm very good at writing, I know that I can improve in certain areas, but that comes with practice and experience. So I keep wondering how can I make my passion work in my favor, how can I make a living from writing here (P.R.)? The answer of course is... I haven't the faintest idea!
I'm a college graduate! I have a degree! Now what?
Okay, the excitement is over, I've got a degree in English Literature. Now what?
Finding work is a challenge, for various reasons:
1-with the current state of economic affairs, companies are downsizing, closing or not hiring.
2- unemployment in Puerto Rico is very high right now.
3- I'm limited in my amount of available working hours since I have four children I need to raise and very little, if no help in that department.
4- on the island, there doesn't seem to exist any outside resources or programs to aid single parents who want to have a better quality of life for their children and themselves. (If there are any I am unaware of them)
I love to write and communicate, it's a passion I've had since I was a child, when I used to write "Barbie Goes Bowling" stories in my spiral notebooks. I also think I'm very good at writing, I know that I can improve in certain areas, but that comes with practice and experience. So I keep wondering how can I make my passion work in my favor, how can I make a living from writing here (P.R.)? The answer of course is... I haven't the faintest idea!
I'm a college graduate! I have a degree! Now what?
Thursday, January 17, 2008
After a brief hiatus I'm back.
I had the intention of writing about my Christmas "vacation", but instead I'd like to vent some on a topic that has had me frustrated for quite some time, which I thought had been finally resolved in October of 2007 but alas I was wrong.
As you may well know I am a single Mom with four little people, my ex husband has to pay Child Support (like any responsible father) for those little people, not directly because of him did I recently confirm how screwed up the governmental program designed to protect my children's and my best interest is. Here is a very brief timeline:
late 2006- after four years of being happily divorced and receiving a very low Child Support payment (in my opinion and the opinion of some other mothers' I know in my situation) I requested a revision be made for the CS (Child Support) my ex should pay.
late summer 2007- after almost a year , and three Hearings (a process that was continuously delayed due to the exes various pity me tactics. Men!) of trying to agree on a reasonable amount (we couldn't agree cause we agreed to disagree) an agreement was finally reached. (Me thinks my ex got a really good deal for himself.)
October 2007- First month I am supposed to see the slight increase in Child Support, also second month in which I have to make arrangements at work and be absent on a couple of occasions because I had no sitter, and very little help with the kids as a direct result to personal and professional setbacks experienced by my ex during that time, so he couldn't help out with the kids.
November 2007- After two months I've yet to receive the new amount agreed on for CS. I visit my local Child Support office to see what's going on. I am informed by their personnel that they didn't receive Sentencing or Resolution from the Court for my case, but they would process the new CS at that moment and that in January of 2008 I should not only receive the right amount in Child Support but I would also receive the retroactive amounts for the months of October and November owed to me (which would be in excess of $500.00).
January 2008- I anxiously await for the Child Support, mid month I finally receive it but not for the new amount as I was previously told, but for the original (before revision) amount, no new amount, no retroactive payments!!
After I got over my shock and disappointment I made various phone calls to try and figure out what's going on, while simultaneously trying to STRETCH the dollar to pay for medical insurance, utilities, and groceries, among others.
I was told that contrary to what they had previously informed me in November, according to their calculations my ex was up to date on his CS. Are you out of your mind? (was my first thought), and, How is it mathematically possible for him not to owe me money if I've yet to receive the new amount that we agreed upon? (was my second thought).
After many futile explanations on her part, none making sense, the employee told me she would be sending me the paperwork to justify her claims that no money was owed. Then she told me that if my ex knew the Child Support had gone up he should have made the corresponding payment personally to my account ( a bit difficult to do since both my ex and myself were under the assumption that the "professionals" would, as they told us, sort it all out).
Oh, did I mention I was let go at work because of the scheduling conflicts between my personal and professional life (it was a cordial parting). So now I'm unemployed (which might be a blessing in disguise, we'll see), and financially challenged since I'm not getting the money I was told I would receive.
So I ponder, what can I do to earn some extra money?
I can write, (which I'm currently doing) but does anyone even read this or care for that matter?
I'm guessing here, but for the lack of any feedback I'd say NO...okay so I can do translations. Close but no cigar since unfortunately in P.R. most, if not all translators are required to be Certified for their work to be valid. Therefore I can explore that avenue in about a year or two, after I take the exams and get certified. You get the idea....
So this morning my ex calls to let me know he went to follow up on the whole Child Support thing cause he doesn't want to get penalized if they later change their minds again and say he does owe me money. So now, he says he was informed that at some point in the last six years he had an overpayment (first time I hear about this) and that according to their numbers he owes me about $200.00, which he doesn't have to pay at once (and not the original amount which as I was told by the CS Office I was initially supposed to receive).
Now this is a summary, there's more baggage to this story but it might become a He Said/She Said because as my ex put it after our little argument this morning, "It's all a matter of perspective and you and I will agree to disagree. I think I give you more than enough you don't". (My ex is not an evil person, he's no Saint either, and honestly since it's my Blog the only perspective that matters is mine).
Although I will not disclose the amount I get in CS I will mention that between CS and unemployment each month I get less than $1,000.00 to support a family of five. I continue to amaze myself, cause I don't even know how I do it exactly, and still maintain my sanity and a good disposition.
To answer my own question I'll say it's a matter of Faith. Faith that things will get better once I obtain my BA and can hopefully become a certified translator, work mostly from home while I can spend time with my kids and earn enough to live comfortably (simple pleasures). Faith that things could always be so much worse and that even if it is at a snails pace progress and better things are in store. Faith that I do a good job as a parent and that my children will grow up to be good, kind, honest and hardworking successful people and professionals (even though I keep getting notes from the Kindergarten teacher about the twins attitudes, so inevitably the Dynamic Duo is being sent to the Counselors Office to see if she can bring them down a notch or two. And as a result I'm wondering if somehow I'm failing or a bad parent because my six year old's can't seem to behave all of the time. What can I do differently or better? but that's a topic for another day).... It's all about the Faith and the perseverance, and a lot of praying (and some financial assistance at times from the parental units, God Bless 'Em).
My Mom says I tend to be negative all of the time (I don't think all of the time, maybe some or most but not all) so I will find the silver lining within the setbacks and road blocks I encounter:
1- I walk my kids to and from school everyday and stay in shape by doing so.
2- I control my own time and have less stress from what I had when I was employed.
3- I can write, read and be creative, whenever I want to (which I so enjoy!)
4- Although not a wonderful relationship, I have a decent relationship with my ex and his new Girlfriend, which has thus far been a very decent woman with my children.
5- The Boyfriend helps out as much as he can, (even though he is communication challenged), but he's working on it.
6-My kids are happy, very opinionated children who laugh a lot and amaze me with their occurrences daily (even if I keep getting notes from Kindergarten).
7- Since I am unemployed I can go back to college and finish my BA and have a degree by June (finally after almost 15 years).
8- Even if I don't receive the amount I was initially told I'd be getting retroactively at least I'll receive something. But I still feel a bit upset and I feel I got screwed over because of bad communication and information skills on behalf of the Child Support Office's employee. She may think that it's not a big deal, but the lack of funds affects me greatly. Oh well, nobody is perfect!
I've Vented, I'm good!
See I'm optimistic, I just have a headache from hitting my head on so many walls.
Next time I'm planning to share the New Year's Eve hair debacle, in which The boyfriend decided he wanted to blow dry my hair. It wasn't pretty.
--DD
I had the intention of writing about my Christmas "vacation", but instead I'd like to vent some on a topic that has had me frustrated for quite some time, which I thought had been finally resolved in October of 2007 but alas I was wrong.
As you may well know I am a single Mom with four little people, my ex husband has to pay Child Support (like any responsible father) for those little people, not directly because of him did I recently confirm how screwed up the governmental program designed to protect my children's and my best interest is. Here is a very brief timeline:
late 2006- after four years of being happily divorced and receiving a very low Child Support payment (in my opinion and the opinion of some other mothers' I know in my situation) I requested a revision be made for the CS (Child Support) my ex should pay.
late summer 2007- after almost a year , and three Hearings (a process that was continuously delayed due to the exes various pity me tactics. Men!) of trying to agree on a reasonable amount (we couldn't agree cause we agreed to disagree) an agreement was finally reached. (Me thinks my ex got a really good deal for himself.)
October 2007- First month I am supposed to see the slight increase in Child Support, also second month in which I have to make arrangements at work and be absent on a couple of occasions because I had no sitter, and very little help with the kids as a direct result to personal and professional setbacks experienced by my ex during that time, so he couldn't help out with the kids.
November 2007- After two months I've yet to receive the new amount agreed on for CS. I visit my local Child Support office to see what's going on. I am informed by their personnel that they didn't receive Sentencing or Resolution from the Court for my case, but they would process the new CS at that moment and that in January of 2008 I should not only receive the right amount in Child Support but I would also receive the retroactive amounts for the months of October and November owed to me (which would be in excess of $500.00).
January 2008- I anxiously await for the Child Support, mid month I finally receive it but not for the new amount as I was previously told, but for the original (before revision) amount, no new amount, no retroactive payments!!
After I got over my shock and disappointment I made various phone calls to try and figure out what's going on, while simultaneously trying to STRETCH the dollar to pay for medical insurance, utilities, and groceries, among others.
I was told that contrary to what they had previously informed me in November, according to their calculations my ex was up to date on his CS. Are you out of your mind? (was my first thought), and, How is it mathematically possible for him not to owe me money if I've yet to receive the new amount that we agreed upon? (was my second thought).
After many futile explanations on her part, none making sense, the employee told me she would be sending me the paperwork to justify her claims that no money was owed. Then she told me that if my ex knew the Child Support had gone up he should have made the corresponding payment personally to my account ( a bit difficult to do since both my ex and myself were under the assumption that the "professionals" would, as they told us, sort it all out).
Oh, did I mention I was let go at work because of the scheduling conflicts between my personal and professional life (it was a cordial parting). So now I'm unemployed (which might be a blessing in disguise, we'll see), and financially challenged since I'm not getting the money I was told I would receive.
So I ponder, what can I do to earn some extra money?
I can write, (which I'm currently doing) but does anyone even read this or care for that matter?
I'm guessing here, but for the lack of any feedback I'd say NO...okay so I can do translations. Close but no cigar since unfortunately in P.R. most, if not all translators are required to be Certified for their work to be valid. Therefore I can explore that avenue in about a year or two, after I take the exams and get certified. You get the idea....
So this morning my ex calls to let me know he went to follow up on the whole Child Support thing cause he doesn't want to get penalized if they later change their minds again and say he does owe me money. So now, he says he was informed that at some point in the last six years he had an overpayment (first time I hear about this) and that according to their numbers he owes me about $200.00, which he doesn't have to pay at once (and not the original amount which as I was told by the CS Office I was initially supposed to receive).
Now this is a summary, there's more baggage to this story but it might become a He Said/She Said because as my ex put it after our little argument this morning, "It's all a matter of perspective and you and I will agree to disagree. I think I give you more than enough you don't". (My ex is not an evil person, he's no Saint either, and honestly since it's my Blog the only perspective that matters is mine).
Although I will not disclose the amount I get in CS I will mention that between CS and unemployment each month I get less than $1,000.00 to support a family of five. I continue to amaze myself, cause I don't even know how I do it exactly, and still maintain my sanity and a good disposition.
To answer my own question I'll say it's a matter of Faith. Faith that things will get better once I obtain my BA and can hopefully become a certified translator, work mostly from home while I can spend time with my kids and earn enough to live comfortably (simple pleasures). Faith that things could always be so much worse and that even if it is at a snails pace progress and better things are in store. Faith that I do a good job as a parent and that my children will grow up to be good, kind, honest and hardworking successful people and professionals (even though I keep getting notes from the Kindergarten teacher about the twins attitudes, so inevitably the Dynamic Duo is being sent to the Counselors Office to see if she can bring them down a notch or two. And as a result I'm wondering if somehow I'm failing or a bad parent because my six year old's can't seem to behave all of the time. What can I do differently or better? but that's a topic for another day).... It's all about the Faith and the perseverance, and a lot of praying (and some financial assistance at times from the parental units, God Bless 'Em).
My Mom says I tend to be negative all of the time (I don't think all of the time, maybe some or most but not all) so I will find the silver lining within the setbacks and road blocks I encounter:
1- I walk my kids to and from school everyday and stay in shape by doing so.
2- I control my own time and have less stress from what I had when I was employed.
3- I can write, read and be creative, whenever I want to (which I so enjoy!)
4- Although not a wonderful relationship, I have a decent relationship with my ex and his new Girlfriend, which has thus far been a very decent woman with my children.
5- The Boyfriend helps out as much as he can, (even though he is communication challenged), but he's working on it.
6-My kids are happy, very opinionated children who laugh a lot and amaze me with their occurrences daily (even if I keep getting notes from Kindergarten).
7- Since I am unemployed I can go back to college and finish my BA and have a degree by June (finally after almost 15 years).
8- Even if I don't receive the amount I was initially told I'd be getting retroactively at least I'll receive something. But I still feel a bit upset and I feel I got screwed over because of bad communication and information skills on behalf of the Child Support Office's employee. She may think that it's not a big deal, but the lack of funds affects me greatly. Oh well, nobody is perfect!
I've Vented, I'm good!
See I'm optimistic, I just have a headache from hitting my head on so many walls.
Next time I'm planning to share the New Year's Eve hair debacle, in which The boyfriend decided he wanted to blow dry my hair. It wasn't pretty.
--DD
Monday, December 10, 2007
Ongoing Vacation
Being unemployed is not as fun as most people think it is. I keep hearing people I bump into on the street tell me how jealous they are of me cause I get to sit at home all day and do nothing while they have to work.
Um yeah, you should be sooo jealous cause I have no money since Child support never arrives when it's supposed to or in the amount it's supposed to and I don't qualify for welfare for some strange reason, so if I have no money I can't exactly spend it on fun things like utilities, food, and gas. Yes I'm having a BLAST, it's like an ongoing vacation in a far away country when you've lost your passport, credit cards and any valid form of ID.
How can being unemployed seem like fun to anybody. Are the people that make the aforementioned comment only basing it on the fact that as a non employeed person I have more free time to clean the house, spend time with my kids and not have the everyday stresses that come from an out of the house job? If that's it then I could understand the sentiment somewhat. They're basically jealous because I have a more flexible schedule.
On the one hand I wake up very early everyday, including weekends to deal with the kids, the house, the extended family, the Boyfriend, the stress of knowing that I have to buy certain things or pay certain things but I simply don't have the funds at that given moment and I don't know when I'll be receiving my payments.
On the other hand I have the option of taking a nap at any moment during the school day, of sitting outside to look at the trees, of taking a three hour lunch if I feel the need or baking cupcakes with my kids right after school.
Unmeployment MIGHT be a bit less stressful but it will never be stress free, I just have different things to worry about now. But there's no need to be jealous, the grass is not always greener on the other side, it's just a little less weedy.
Um yeah, you should be sooo jealous cause I have no money since Child support never arrives when it's supposed to or in the amount it's supposed to and I don't qualify for welfare for some strange reason, so if I have no money I can't exactly spend it on fun things like utilities, food, and gas. Yes I'm having a BLAST, it's like an ongoing vacation in a far away country when you've lost your passport, credit cards and any valid form of ID.
How can being unemployed seem like fun to anybody. Are the people that make the aforementioned comment only basing it on the fact that as a non employeed person I have more free time to clean the house, spend time with my kids and not have the everyday stresses that come from an out of the house job? If that's it then I could understand the sentiment somewhat. They're basically jealous because I have a more flexible schedule.
On the one hand I wake up very early everyday, including weekends to deal with the kids, the house, the extended family, the Boyfriend, the stress of knowing that I have to buy certain things or pay certain things but I simply don't have the funds at that given moment and I don't know when I'll be receiving my payments.
On the other hand I have the option of taking a nap at any moment during the school day, of sitting outside to look at the trees, of taking a three hour lunch if I feel the need or baking cupcakes with my kids right after school.
Unmeployment MIGHT be a bit less stressful but it will never be stress free, I just have different things to worry about now. But there's no need to be jealous, the grass is not always greener on the other side, it's just a little less weedy.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
The Reality of "Reality"
Last night was the Dancing with the Stars Finale, which I watched with my two oldest daughters. Since Daylight savings changed everything is watched one hour later here, so on a school night the girls went to bed at midnight. Nevertheless our collective breaths were held when the first couple was to be eliminated...Marie and Jonathan, what a relief cause if they won we weren't going to watch the show again.
Dancing With the Stars is a DANCE competition, not a popularity contest, Marie should've been eliminated a LONG time ago. We were surprised when Albert Reed was let go and Wayne Newton remained (popularity vote), then Sabrina was gone and Jane stayed (popularity vote again) and Marie, I won't even start on that one.
The same thing happens on American Idol, remember Sanjaya, Nikki, and Taylor... Daughtry nevertheless got the last laugh on that one, as did Jennifer Hudson.
Although I enjoy these types of programs I wonder, much like Randy Jackson, "What was America Thinking?". These are either Dancing or Singing Competitions, we are not looking for the person that makes me feel the most nostalgic or the one with the coolest hair. Sabrina, Albert and Jennie were cheated "America got it wrong Dog!"
In two short months IT is back, American Idol returns, hopefully this season will be a la season two or four, cause if it continues as boring and predictable as the last two seasons I'll be tuning in to something else.
As far as Dancing with the Stars, how about some latino contestants (Roselyn Sanchez doing anything interesting?) or better yet a Dancing All Star Showdown between previous contestants like Joey McIntyre, Lisa Rinna, Stacey Keebler (?), Drew Lachey, Joey Lawrence, Joey Fatone, Apolo Anton Ohno, Mel B., Sabrina, Mario Lopez and Jennie Garth. But on second thought these Stars are currently too busy to go through this whole ordeal once again, specially when they got their second wind thanks to this show.
And in case American Idol sucks, we still have Dance Wars, So You Think You Can Dance, America's Next Top Model, Project Runway, Top Chef, Shear Genius, Survivor, The Amazing Race and a bunch of other "Reality" shows to keep us entertained.
:oDD
Dancing With the Stars is a DANCE competition, not a popularity contest, Marie should've been eliminated a LONG time ago. We were surprised when Albert Reed was let go and Wayne Newton remained (popularity vote), then Sabrina was gone and Jane stayed (popularity vote again) and Marie, I won't even start on that one.
The same thing happens on American Idol, remember Sanjaya, Nikki, and Taylor... Daughtry nevertheless got the last laugh on that one, as did Jennifer Hudson.
Although I enjoy these types of programs I wonder, much like Randy Jackson, "What was America Thinking?". These are either Dancing or Singing Competitions, we are not looking for the person that makes me feel the most nostalgic or the one with the coolest hair. Sabrina, Albert and Jennie were cheated "America got it wrong Dog!"
In two short months IT is back, American Idol returns, hopefully this season will be a la season two or four, cause if it continues as boring and predictable as the last two seasons I'll be tuning in to something else.
As far as Dancing with the Stars, how about some latino contestants (Roselyn Sanchez doing anything interesting?) or better yet a Dancing All Star Showdown between previous contestants like Joey McIntyre, Lisa Rinna, Stacey Keebler (?), Drew Lachey, Joey Lawrence, Joey Fatone, Apolo Anton Ohno, Mel B., Sabrina, Mario Lopez and Jennie Garth. But on second thought these Stars are currently too busy to go through this whole ordeal once again, specially when they got their second wind thanks to this show.
And in case American Idol sucks, we still have Dance Wars, So You Think You Can Dance, America's Next Top Model, Project Runway, Top Chef, Shear Genius, Survivor, The Amazing Race and a bunch of other "Reality" shows to keep us entertained.
:oDD
Friday, November 23, 2007
The Most Wonderful Time
It's the most wonderful time of the year!
Yes it's Black Friday, the beginning of Christmas, the season of letting bygones be bygones, of being the bigger person, of reaching out to those you've wronged or been wronged by. Of spending large amounts of money you don't have on things that you don't need for people you barely tolerate (most) and really love (very few).
Have we as a society completely lost what the Holidays should stand for?
Yesterday during Thanksgiving, the day where one is supposed to be grateful for all the little things one has, like the fact that we are alive, healthy, that we have the opportunity to receive an education, and learn, that we have loved ones who stand by our side no matter what etc.. Instead, Thanksgiving has become for many a chance to drink free alcohol and brag to your loved ones about all the material gain you've acquired throughout the past year. Conversations abound about what you are buying the following day or the following week. After enough drinking, unresolved childhood baggage usually arises and arguments usually ensue, and all Hell breaks loose cause you wanted that Barbie doll when you were 10 and never got it but your brother always gets everything he's wanted cause your parent's love him more, yadayadayada.... you get the picture. Oh, but damn that Turkey is GOOD!
Then there's Black Friday, Retails Glory Day! We can all really appreciate the meaning of Christmas on Black Friday. Customers fighting over merchandise, parking spaces and long ATM lines. Stores getting reprimanded for not having the necessary stock they had advertised in their shoppers, and complete and utter Chaos.
I propose that during Thanksgiving no electronic equipment be turned on, no alcohol be consumed and no stores open before noon the following day. The time and energy that goes into fighting with your loved ones, or with others over money you want to spend buying things that you really don't need could be put to better use by playing table games with family, reminiscing about happier times and doing your damndest to regain those happier times and make them happen once again.
Christmas is about peace, love, sacrifice, empowerment and change. It's an occasion to strive to be a better person, or at least it should be...
So Bring on the Eggnog! Get ready to turn off all your lights when you hear the Christmas Carolers coming, and don't forget to tell your secretary to buy something nice for your Mother!
And right now I will proceed to turn of my computer and go hang out with my family and have a rockin day!
Happy Holidays!!!!
Yes it's Black Friday, the beginning of Christmas, the season of letting bygones be bygones, of being the bigger person, of reaching out to those you've wronged or been wronged by. Of spending large amounts of money you don't have on things that you don't need for people you barely tolerate (most) and really love (very few).
Have we as a society completely lost what the Holidays should stand for?
Yesterday during Thanksgiving, the day where one is supposed to be grateful for all the little things one has, like the fact that we are alive, healthy, that we have the opportunity to receive an education, and learn, that we have loved ones who stand by our side no matter what etc.. Instead, Thanksgiving has become for many a chance to drink free alcohol and brag to your loved ones about all the material gain you've acquired throughout the past year. Conversations abound about what you are buying the following day or the following week. After enough drinking, unresolved childhood baggage usually arises and arguments usually ensue, and all Hell breaks loose cause you wanted that Barbie doll when you were 10 and never got it but your brother always gets everything he's wanted cause your parent's love him more, yadayadayada.... you get the picture. Oh, but damn that Turkey is GOOD!
Then there's Black Friday, Retails Glory Day! We can all really appreciate the meaning of Christmas on Black Friday. Customers fighting over merchandise, parking spaces and long ATM lines. Stores getting reprimanded for not having the necessary stock they had advertised in their shoppers, and complete and utter Chaos.
I propose that during Thanksgiving no electronic equipment be turned on, no alcohol be consumed and no stores open before noon the following day. The time and energy that goes into fighting with your loved ones, or with others over money you want to spend buying things that you really don't need could be put to better use by playing table games with family, reminiscing about happier times and doing your damndest to regain those happier times and make them happen once again.
Christmas is about peace, love, sacrifice, empowerment and change. It's an occasion to strive to be a better person, or at least it should be...
So Bring on the Eggnog! Get ready to turn off all your lights when you hear the Christmas Carolers coming, and don't forget to tell your secretary to buy something nice for your Mother!
And right now I will proceed to turn of my computer and go hang out with my family and have a rockin day!
Happy Holidays!!!!
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
To Delete or Cross Out
If you're in a relationship and it doesn't work and you break up or they break it off with you and you each go your separate ways, why maintain contact with that person? It's over, it's done, it didn't work, move on.
There is no need to text, email or call each other to see how life is for the both of you by yourselves or with the person you are currently seeing. You shouldn't care what they're up to because you are no longer together, neither one of you is a necessary or pivotal part of the other's life (unless there are kids involved). So why tempt fate? Why keep in touch with that person and try and justify it by saying that you were bored and just wanted someone to talk to?
As far as I'm concerned where an Ex is involved any excuse you give your current partner is BS,crap, Poo Poo. The reason a person ( my opinion, you are completely welcome to disagree) would keep in touch with a person they had a previous romantic relationship with is to KEEP THEIR OPTIONS OPEN.
Huh, keep their options open? But of course, it's the logical conclusion, if things don't work out with you then they can always go back to their ex and get down to business. It's their way of reminding their exes that although they're not available now they might become available at some point, and who knows maybe they could get jiggy with it when that moment arrives.
Maybe it's not as simple as that. Maybe I take everything too personal. Maybe I'm just overly sensitive or too much of an idealist. Maybe I'm being paranoid. Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions. Yes, and maybe pigs fly!
A couple months ago my ex sent me a text message wishing me a Happy Bithday, other than thinking "how nice" and wondering why, I didn't take the time to reply, I didn't think there was a reason to, and besides it was a nice gesture but we've each gone our separate ways. Was I being bitchy? I don't think so, why tempt fate, I am no longer with him there's no need to re-open that can of worms. He's a great guy, let him be great for somebody else. In no way does that mean that if I casually bump into him I'll turn my face and run in the other direction, no that would be rude. But why text him back and say thanks so much for remembering,I send you a hug and "TQM" (which losely translates to "I care a lot about you and think about you on many occasions even though you dumped my ass" sort of way).
What other reason besides keeping their options open could a person have for texting their ex at 11:00 o'clock at night because he/she is bored and they wanted to have a beer so they just thought to call their ex. But, it's innocent, there's nothing going on, they didn't even bring it up cause they're forgetful and it wasn't that important. How do you forget you called, wrote, or contacted an ex to have a beer, or to tell them you were going to be in the area and maybe you could see each other cause it's been a while, blah blah blah.
Dude, own up to what's really going on. You are simply not certain or secure in the realationship you're in, and you want to remind your exes that you still exist. Yeah, now you're with someone but if that falls through you need to have a fall back person, so you network, KEEP YOUR OPTIONS OPEN.
"But I haven't cheated on you. Talking, interacting or contacting a person of the opposite sex, especially an ex doesn't constitute cheating"- This statement is as true as it is murky. I have guy friends, I just don't contact any of them late at night to do anything, especially an ex. Actively seeking to spend time, talk or do anything with a member of the opposite sex who happens to be an Ex, at night and it involves alcohol just implies that you've been contemplating your options. It's almost premeditated and even dirty. You know that what you're doing is wrong, you're not physically cheating yes, but it's a really thin line.
If you're bored there's a million things to do, (especially late at night) a few examples:
1- Read a Book (there's a whole bunch you've been meaning to read but you just haven't had the time, nows a good time)
2- Watch a movie (refer to number #1)
3- Call your current companion and talk to them (keep the flame alive).
4-Do some light cleaning and organizing around your apartment (think of all the wonderful things you'll find).
5-Listen to music
6-Surf the web
7-Take a drive
8-Count sheep
9-Alphabetize your CD and movie collections
10- Masturbate (Safest sex around!)
All fun and exciting in their own right, none involving an ex, who by the way is an EX because it didn't work! If they wanted to be with you then they wouldn't be your EX. And if you still feel the need to text them and spend time catching up, or to let them know you still "TQM", then ask yourself this: If I "TQM" my ex so much why are they my ex? And what the heck am I doing with my current partner?
And remember Ex is one S short of SEX.
Definition of TQM: Te Quiero Mucho
A definition of Ex:
To delete or cross out
(Happy Thanksgiving! May you stuff yourselves with turkey and not gain any weight. Unless you're really thin in which case bring on the pounds!)
:oDD
There is no need to text, email or call each other to see how life is for the both of you by yourselves or with the person you are currently seeing. You shouldn't care what they're up to because you are no longer together, neither one of you is a necessary or pivotal part of the other's life (unless there are kids involved). So why tempt fate? Why keep in touch with that person and try and justify it by saying that you were bored and just wanted someone to talk to?
As far as I'm concerned where an Ex is involved any excuse you give your current partner is BS,crap, Poo Poo. The reason a person ( my opinion, you are completely welcome to disagree) would keep in touch with a person they had a previous romantic relationship with is to KEEP THEIR OPTIONS OPEN.
Huh, keep their options open? But of course, it's the logical conclusion, if things don't work out with you then they can always go back to their ex and get down to business. It's their way of reminding their exes that although they're not available now they might become available at some point, and who knows maybe they could get jiggy with it when that moment arrives.
Maybe it's not as simple as that. Maybe I take everything too personal. Maybe I'm just overly sensitive or too much of an idealist. Maybe I'm being paranoid. Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions. Yes, and maybe pigs fly!
A couple months ago my ex sent me a text message wishing me a Happy Bithday, other than thinking "how nice" and wondering why, I didn't take the time to reply, I didn't think there was a reason to, and besides it was a nice gesture but we've each gone our separate ways. Was I being bitchy? I don't think so, why tempt fate, I am no longer with him there's no need to re-open that can of worms. He's a great guy, let him be great for somebody else. In no way does that mean that if I casually bump into him I'll turn my face and run in the other direction, no that would be rude. But why text him back and say thanks so much for remembering,I send you a hug and "TQM" (which losely translates to "I care a lot about you and think about you on many occasions even though you dumped my ass" sort of way).
What other reason besides keeping their options open could a person have for texting their ex at 11:00 o'clock at night because he/she is bored and they wanted to have a beer so they just thought to call their ex. But, it's innocent, there's nothing going on, they didn't even bring it up cause they're forgetful and it wasn't that important. How do you forget you called, wrote, or contacted an ex to have a beer, or to tell them you were going to be in the area and maybe you could see each other cause it's been a while, blah blah blah.
Dude, own up to what's really going on. You are simply not certain or secure in the realationship you're in, and you want to remind your exes that you still exist. Yeah, now you're with someone but if that falls through you need to have a fall back person, so you network, KEEP YOUR OPTIONS OPEN.
"But I haven't cheated on you. Talking, interacting or contacting a person of the opposite sex, especially an ex doesn't constitute cheating"- This statement is as true as it is murky. I have guy friends, I just don't contact any of them late at night to do anything, especially an ex. Actively seeking to spend time, talk or do anything with a member of the opposite sex who happens to be an Ex, at night and it involves alcohol just implies that you've been contemplating your options. It's almost premeditated and even dirty. You know that what you're doing is wrong, you're not physically cheating yes, but it's a really thin line.
If you're bored there's a million things to do, (especially late at night) a few examples:
1- Read a Book (there's a whole bunch you've been meaning to read but you just haven't had the time, nows a good time)
2- Watch a movie (refer to number #1)
3- Call your current companion and talk to them (keep the flame alive).
4-Do some light cleaning and organizing around your apartment (think of all the wonderful things you'll find).
5-Listen to music
6-Surf the web
7-Take a drive
8-Count sheep
9-Alphabetize your CD and movie collections
10- Masturbate (Safest sex around!)
All fun and exciting in their own right, none involving an ex, who by the way is an EX because it didn't work! If they wanted to be with you then they wouldn't be your EX. And if you still feel the need to text them and spend time catching up, or to let them know you still "TQM", then ask yourself this: If I "TQM" my ex so much why are they my ex? And what the heck am I doing with my current partner?
And remember Ex is one S short of SEX.
Definition of TQM: Te Quiero Mucho
A definition of Ex:
To delete or cross out
(Happy Thanksgiving! May you stuff yourselves with turkey and not gain any weight. Unless you're really thin in which case bring on the pounds!)
:oDD
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