The Brain Dump

After reading my friend Gil's blog (gilthejenius) I can say I am a waiter, but I'm also a writer. I have waited to write in order to experience as much as possible and then put it into words. I haven't sat down to write like this in quite awhile, so I'm a bit rusty. I could say life got in my way, work got in my way, insecurity, lack of confidence in my abilities, laziness, and a whole bunch of other things, and yet none are justified excuses to stop doing something one is passionate about, good at and that I find enjoyable and calming.
For the last two years and two days my time, efforts and knowledge were dedicated to working at "the office", and after two years of work and dedication I find myself unemployed once again. I feel out of sorts, like a toddler I am wobbly and scared of walking for fear that I may fall and no one will be there to catch me. I find myself in a new skin that's essentialy and old skin and I've yet to figure out if it still fits or if I've outgrown it.
I enjoy working out of the house, interacting with others, if I'm making a paycheck it means I'm being productive, right? After all one doesn't get paid to be a parent, not moneywise, so does that mean that as a New Stay at Home Parent I'm being unproductive. Is my work as a Mom less valuable because I'm not "earning a living"?
It's frustrating for me to live in a society where a woman's work, sacrifice and dedication is still belittled by many and mocked by other's.
Two years of juggling work and parenting, and in the end parenting won out. There will always be work that anybody can do, that's why family must always come first.
I feel out of sorts right now, I feel lonely, sometimes angry, mostly excited about the fact that now I can pick my kids up from school and do homework, come and go as I please.
I look forward to new experiences and learning to walk on my own two feet. In the mean time I'll wobble, and scrape my knees and cry, and I'll continue to get up and try again, until I get the hang of it.