To Delete or Cross Out

If you're in a relationship and it doesn't work and you break up or they break it off with you and you each go your separate ways, why maintain contact with that person? It's over, it's done, it didn't work, move on.

There is no need to text, email or call each other to see how life is for the both of you by yourselves or with the person you are currently seeing. You shouldn't care what they're up to because you are no longer together, neither one of you is a necessary or pivotal part of the other's life (unless there are kids involved). So why tempt fate? Why keep in touch with that person and try and justify it by saying that you were bored and just wanted someone to talk to?

As far as I'm concerned where an Ex is involved any excuse you give your current partner is BS,crap, Poo Poo. The reason a person ( my opinion, you are completely welcome to disagree) would keep in touch with a person they had a previous romantic relationship with is to KEEP THEIR OPTIONS OPEN.

Huh, keep their options open? But of course, it's the logical conclusion, if things don't work out with you then they can always go back to their ex and get down to business. It's their way of reminding their exes that although they're not available now they might become available at some point, and who knows maybe they could get jiggy with it when that moment arrives.

Maybe it's not as simple as that. Maybe I take everything too personal. Maybe I'm just overly sensitive or too much of an idealist. Maybe I'm being paranoid. Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions. Yes, and maybe pigs fly!

A couple months ago my ex sent me a text message wishing me a Happy Bithday, other than thinking "how nice" and wondering why, I didn't take the time to reply, I didn't think there was a reason to, and besides it was a nice gesture but we've each gone our separate ways. Was I being bitchy? I don't think so, why tempt fate, I am no longer with him there's no need to re-open that can of worms. He's a great guy, let him be great for somebody else. In no way does that mean that if I casually bump into him I'll turn my face and run in the other direction, no that would be rude. But why text him back and say thanks so much for remembering,I send you a hug and "TQM" (which losely translates to "I care a lot about you and think about you on many occasions even though you dumped my ass" sort of way).

What other reason besides keeping their options open could a person have for texting their ex at 11:00 o'clock at night because he/she is bored and they wanted to have a beer so they just thought to call their ex. But, it's innocent, there's nothing going on, they didn't even bring it up cause they're forgetful and it wasn't that important. How do you forget you called, wrote, or contacted an ex to have a beer, or to tell them you were going to be in the area and maybe you could see each other cause it's been a while, blah blah blah.

Dude, own up to what's really going on. You are simply not certain or secure in the realationship you're in, and you want to remind your exes that you still exist. Yeah, now you're with someone but if that falls through you need to have a fall back person, so you network, KEEP YOUR OPTIONS OPEN.

"But I haven't cheated on you. Talking, interacting or contacting a person of the opposite sex, especially an ex doesn't constitute cheating"- This statement is as true as it is murky. I have guy friends, I just don't contact any of them late at night to do anything, especially an ex. Actively seeking to spend time, talk or do anything with a member of the opposite sex who happens to be an Ex, at night and it involves alcohol just implies that you've been contemplating your options. It's almost premeditated and even dirty. You know that what you're doing is wrong, you're not physically cheating yes, but it's a really thin line.

If you're bored there's a million things to do, (especially late at night) a few examples:

1- Read a Book (there's a whole bunch you've been meaning to read but you just haven't had the time, nows a good time)

2- Watch a movie (refer to number #1)

3- Call your current companion and talk to them (keep the flame alive).

4-Do some light cleaning and organizing around your apartment (think of all the wonderful things you'll find).

5-Listen to music

6-Surf the web

7-Take a drive

8-Count sheep

9-Alphabetize your CD and movie collections

10- Masturbate (Safest sex around!)


All fun and exciting in their own right, none involving an ex, who by the way is an EX because it didn't work! If they wanted to be with you then they wouldn't be your EX. And if you still feel the need to text them and spend time catching up, or to let them know you still "TQM", then ask yourself this: If I "TQM" my ex so much why are they my ex? And what the heck am I doing with my current partner?

And remember Ex is one S short of SEX.


Definition of TQM: Te Quiero Mucho



A definition of Ex:

To delete or cross out


(Happy Thanksgiving! May you stuff yourselves with turkey and not gain any weight. Unless you're really thin in which case bring on the pounds!)

:oDD