The Reality of "Reality"

Last night was the Dancing with the Stars Finale, which I watched with my two oldest daughters. Since Daylight savings changed everything is watched one hour later here, so on a school night the girls went to bed at midnight. Nevertheless our collective breaths were held when the first couple was to be eliminated...Marie and Jonathan, what a relief cause if they won we weren't going to watch the show again.

Dancing With the Stars is a DANCE competition, not a popularity contest, Marie should've been eliminated a LONG time ago. We were surprised when Albert Reed was let go and Wayne Newton remained (popularity vote), then Sabrina was gone and Jane stayed (popularity vote again) and Marie, I won't even start on that one.

The same thing happens on American Idol, remember Sanjaya, Nikki, and Taylor... Daughtry nevertheless got the last laugh on that one, as did Jennifer Hudson.

Although I enjoy these types of programs I wonder, much like Randy Jackson, "What was America Thinking?". These are either Dancing or Singing Competitions, we are not looking for the person that makes me feel the most nostalgic or the one with the coolest hair. Sabrina, Albert and Jennie were cheated "America got it wrong Dog!"

In two short months IT is back, American Idol returns, hopefully this season will be a la season two or four, cause if it continues as boring and predictable as the last two seasons I'll be tuning in to something else.

As far as Dancing with the Stars, how about some latino contestants (Roselyn Sanchez doing anything interesting?) or better yet a Dancing All Star Showdown between previous contestants like Joey McIntyre, Lisa Rinna, Stacey Keebler (?), Drew Lachey, Joey Lawrence, Joey Fatone, Apolo Anton Ohno, Mel B., Sabrina, Mario Lopez and Jennie Garth. But on second thought these Stars are currently too busy to go through this whole ordeal once again, specially when they got their second wind thanks to this show.

And in case American Idol sucks, we still have Dance Wars, So You Think You Can Dance, America's Next Top Model, Project Runway, Top Chef, Shear Genius, Survivor, The Amazing Race and a bunch of other "Reality" shows to keep us entertained.

:oDD

The Most Wonderful Time

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Yes it's Black Friday, the beginning of Christmas, the season of letting bygones be bygones, of being the bigger person, of reaching out to those you've wronged or been wronged by. Of spending large amounts of money you don't have on things that you don't need for people you barely tolerate (most) and really love (very few).

Have we as a society completely lost what the Holidays should stand for?

Yesterday during Thanksgiving, the day where one is supposed to be grateful for all the little things one has, like the fact that we are alive, healthy, that we have the opportunity to receive an education, and learn, that we have loved ones who stand by our side no matter what etc.. Instead, Thanksgiving has become for many a chance to drink free alcohol and brag to your loved ones about all the material gain you've acquired throughout the past year. Conversations abound about what you are buying the following day or the following week. After enough drinking, unresolved childhood baggage usually arises and arguments usually ensue, and all Hell breaks loose cause you wanted that Barbie doll when you were 10 and never got it but your brother always gets everything he's wanted cause your parent's love him more, yadayadayada.... you get the picture. Oh, but damn that Turkey is GOOD!

Then there's Black Friday, Retails Glory Day! We can all really appreciate the meaning of Christmas on Black Friday. Customers fighting over merchandise, parking spaces and long ATM lines. Stores getting reprimanded for not having the necessary stock they had advertised in their shoppers, and complete and utter Chaos.

I propose that during Thanksgiving no electronic equipment be turned on, no alcohol be consumed and no stores open before noon the following day. The time and energy that goes into fighting with your loved ones, or with others over money you want to spend buying things that you really don't need could be put to better use by playing table games with family, reminiscing about happier times and doing your damndest to regain those happier times and make them happen once again.
Christmas is about peace, love, sacrifice, empowerment and change. It's an occasion to strive to be a better person, or at least it should be...

So Bring on the Eggnog! Get ready to turn off all your lights when you hear the Christmas Carolers coming, and don't forget to tell your secretary to buy something nice for your Mother!

And right now I will proceed to turn of my computer and go hang out with my family and have a rockin day!
Happy Holidays!!!!

To Delete or Cross Out

If you're in a relationship and it doesn't work and you break up or they break it off with you and you each go your separate ways, why maintain contact with that person? It's over, it's done, it didn't work, move on.

There is no need to text, email or call each other to see how life is for the both of you by yourselves or with the person you are currently seeing. You shouldn't care what they're up to because you are no longer together, neither one of you is a necessary or pivotal part of the other's life (unless there are kids involved). So why tempt fate? Why keep in touch with that person and try and justify it by saying that you were bored and just wanted someone to talk to?

As far as I'm concerned where an Ex is involved any excuse you give your current partner is BS,crap, Poo Poo. The reason a person ( my opinion, you are completely welcome to disagree) would keep in touch with a person they had a previous romantic relationship with is to KEEP THEIR OPTIONS OPEN.

Huh, keep their options open? But of course, it's the logical conclusion, if things don't work out with you then they can always go back to their ex and get down to business. It's their way of reminding their exes that although they're not available now they might become available at some point, and who knows maybe they could get jiggy with it when that moment arrives.

Maybe it's not as simple as that. Maybe I take everything too personal. Maybe I'm just overly sensitive or too much of an idealist. Maybe I'm being paranoid. Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions. Yes, and maybe pigs fly!

A couple months ago my ex sent me a text message wishing me a Happy Bithday, other than thinking "how nice" and wondering why, I didn't take the time to reply, I didn't think there was a reason to, and besides it was a nice gesture but we've each gone our separate ways. Was I being bitchy? I don't think so, why tempt fate, I am no longer with him there's no need to re-open that can of worms. He's a great guy, let him be great for somebody else. In no way does that mean that if I casually bump into him I'll turn my face and run in the other direction, no that would be rude. But why text him back and say thanks so much for remembering,I send you a hug and "TQM" (which losely translates to "I care a lot about you and think about you on many occasions even though you dumped my ass" sort of way).

What other reason besides keeping their options open could a person have for texting their ex at 11:00 o'clock at night because he/she is bored and they wanted to have a beer so they just thought to call their ex. But, it's innocent, there's nothing going on, they didn't even bring it up cause they're forgetful and it wasn't that important. How do you forget you called, wrote, or contacted an ex to have a beer, or to tell them you were going to be in the area and maybe you could see each other cause it's been a while, blah blah blah.

Dude, own up to what's really going on. You are simply not certain or secure in the realationship you're in, and you want to remind your exes that you still exist. Yeah, now you're with someone but if that falls through you need to have a fall back person, so you network, KEEP YOUR OPTIONS OPEN.

"But I haven't cheated on you. Talking, interacting or contacting a person of the opposite sex, especially an ex doesn't constitute cheating"- This statement is as true as it is murky. I have guy friends, I just don't contact any of them late at night to do anything, especially an ex. Actively seeking to spend time, talk or do anything with a member of the opposite sex who happens to be an Ex, at night and it involves alcohol just implies that you've been contemplating your options. It's almost premeditated and even dirty. You know that what you're doing is wrong, you're not physically cheating yes, but it's a really thin line.

If you're bored there's a million things to do, (especially late at night) a few examples:

1- Read a Book (there's a whole bunch you've been meaning to read but you just haven't had the time, nows a good time)

2- Watch a movie (refer to number #1)

3- Call your current companion and talk to them (keep the flame alive).

4-Do some light cleaning and organizing around your apartment (think of all the wonderful things you'll find).

5-Listen to music

6-Surf the web

7-Take a drive

8-Count sheep

9-Alphabetize your CD and movie collections

10- Masturbate (Safest sex around!)


All fun and exciting in their own right, none involving an ex, who by the way is an EX because it didn't work! If they wanted to be with you then they wouldn't be your EX. And if you still feel the need to text them and spend time catching up, or to let them know you still "TQM", then ask yourself this: If I "TQM" my ex so much why are they my ex? And what the heck am I doing with my current partner?

And remember Ex is one S short of SEX.


Definition of TQM: Te Quiero Mucho



A definition of Ex:

To delete or cross out


(Happy Thanksgiving! May you stuff yourselves with turkey and not gain any weight. Unless you're really thin in which case bring on the pounds!)

:oDD

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a Food Allergy?

What started out as a promising week last week went to the crapper. My 5 year old son got a SEVERE Food Allergy, so we think. But nobody knows what caused the reaction. He got hives and red all over and then it was a rash, and two days later it somehow got worse and there wasn't a part of his body that wasn't itchy or red or Hivey. Thankfully after a visit to the Hospital, the Pediatrician and the Dermatologist he got some medication and the rash started going down.
Hopefully this Thanksgiving week will be better! I just have to remeber to carry a medicine kit on me at all times.

It's Veteran's Day! It's almost Thanksgiving, and Christmas is upon us, yipee!
Today I can truly appreciate being a Stay at Home Parent. If I would've been working I'd be under major amounts of stress with the "Who's going to watch the kids while I work" routine. No longer! I woke up at 9:00, which under normal circumstances is late for me. Had my coffee, surfed the net and pretty soon I'm getting some housework done.
The kids already made their Christmas lists and are quietly playing.
Do you hear that? It's the sound of a Stress Free Zone, peace and tranquility. All is well!

Moving ...

After Boyfriend read to previous entry he decided to see things from a different perspective and proceeded to contact Girlfriend, who in turn listened to everything he felt and thought and expected, all this was explained in a very calm manner. She then proceeded to share with him her feelings, thoughts and expectations. So they are moving forward, hopefully with very little detours along the way.

Moving Forward or Moving on?

Here's the scenario (the summary version cause if not I'd be writing till tomorrow, and the summary is long enough):
Boyfriend calls Girlfriend early yesterday to tell her that he has a business meeting at seven, that that meeting should take no longer than two hours and that after said meeting he'd like to come over and spend some time with her cause things have been rocky between them lately. Why you may ask yourself (or not) have things been rocky, and if you're reading this my guess is you want to know.

So, like in every relationship both people pull in their own direction at times, wanting the other person to Respect, Validate, Consider and Value them and their feelings. Unfortunately for Boyfriend and Girlfriend that has been a source of contention all week.

Anyway (crutch word), at 8:30 Boyfriend calls Girlfriend and tells her the meeting is over and that he's going out to eat and have some drinks with his coworkers, therefore, considering the amount of time it takes to eat, Girlfriend realizes her man's not going to come over at a reasonably decent and acceptable time. She then proceeds to tell him to go out and be with his coworkers, that although dissapointed with this turn of events, she understands, and that they'll just do something together at some other time, maybe they can still have breakfast the following day.
Boyfriend gets upset because he thinks Girlfriend isn't being supportive enough, this is important to him, it was last minute, yadayadayada. Again Girlfriend tells him she understands, that she's dissapointed because she hasn't really spent time with him this past week, and although he may not take that into account, she was looking forward to spending some quality time together and talking to another grown up about the happenings in their respective lives and just wanting the comfort that comes from being with someone you love. She feels that if being with her was important to him he would've found a way to make it work and be both a Team player (work) and a good respectful partner (personal).

For example He could've:
A) Told his co workers that he would go have a drink with them and stay for a bit since he had made previous arrangements with Girlfriend and he was looking forward to being with her, hence he could excuse himself at 9:30, buy Drive Thru and get to his Girlfriend's house at the previously agreed time.
B) He could've gone with his coworkers called Girlfriend and verified if it was okay with her to get there before 10:30, genuinely apologize for bumping her and rescheduling, and proceeded to then make it up to her in some other way (that's called consideration and respect for your partners feelings).

Either scenario would've been acceptable, that's a COMPROMISE, he would've fulfilled both being a team player and a good Boyfriend.

Fast forward to the following morning, Boyfriend and Girlfriend had decided to meet up at her house at 7:30am and have breakfast. At 7:15 Boyfriend calls to ask Girlfriend to come over to his apartment because he's hungover and just can't get up. Girlfriend kindly tells him that:
A) they had already made previous arrangements that didn't include going to his apartment, so that was a no go
B) that every action has a consequence and HE and only HE chose to stay up till God knows when and party like a Rockstar knowing that he had made arrangements for early the next morning
C) that she had no problem meeting up with him at a later hour so he could sleep it off.

A situation that could've been remedied if:
A) Boyfriend, knowing he had made new plans to see the Girlfriend he'd already dissapointed the night before would've partied less and gotten some rest so he could be with her as agreed,
or B)Even if he was dying, Boyfriend could've gotten out of bed and shown up at the accorded time, cause Girlfriend shouldn't have to pay for his bad judgement.

Anyway (crutch word), what has Girlfriend learned?
A) that her feelings and needs are not a priority to Boyfriend. Girlfriend understood that Boyfriend wanted to have a drink, and that's fine, he doesn't do this every night, it's completely acceptable to her that he has some HIM time, but that time shouldn't conflict with THEIR previously arranged time. But for lack of consideration and respect to Girlfriend on Boyfriends behalf, the way he handled the situation is just plain unacceptable.
B) That he really likes Girlfriend, maybe even loves her, he's just not that into her, he's okay with dissapointing her.
C) That although he says that he understands her position it's obvious he doesn't or he wouldn't have bumped her yet again the following morning.

Is Girlfriend being unreasonable, or does Boyfriend need to get a clue?

By the By, in Boyfriends line of work it is required that in order to come up with an acceptable solution to any situation you must do research, a lot of times you have to COMPROMISE and always show your clients RESPECT.
In the client's opinion, Boyfriend didn't do his job right, maybe she should fire him and move on.

The Brain Dump

After reading my friend Gil's blog (gilthejenius) I can say I am a waiter, but I'm also a writer. I have waited to write in order to experience as much as possible and then put it into words. I haven't sat down to write like this in quite awhile, so I'm a bit rusty. I could say life got in my way, work got in my way, insecurity, lack of confidence in my abilities, laziness, and a whole bunch of other things, and yet none are justified excuses to stop doing something one is passionate about, good at and that I find enjoyable and calming.
For the last two years and two days my time, efforts and knowledge were dedicated to working at "the office", and after two years of work and dedication I find myself unemployed once again. I feel out of sorts, like a toddler I am wobbly and scared of walking for fear that I may fall and no one will be there to catch me. I find myself in a new skin that's essentialy and old skin and I've yet to figure out if it still fits or if I've outgrown it.
I enjoy working out of the house, interacting with others, if I'm making a paycheck it means I'm being productive, right? After all one doesn't get paid to be a parent, not moneywise, so does that mean that as a New Stay at Home Parent I'm being unproductive. Is my work as a Mom less valuable because I'm not "earning a living"?
It's frustrating for me to live in a society where a woman's work, sacrifice and dedication is still belittled by many and mocked by other's.
Two years of juggling work and parenting, and in the end parenting won out. There will always be work that anybody can do, that's why family must always come first.
I feel out of sorts right now, I feel lonely, sometimes angry, mostly excited about the fact that now I can pick my kids up from school and do homework, come and go as I please.
I look forward to new experiences and learning to walk on my own two feet. In the mean time I'll wobble, and scrape my knees and cry, and I'll continue to get up and try again, until I get the hang of it.