After a brief hiatus I'm back.

I had the intention of writing about my Christmas "vacation", but instead I'd like to vent some on a topic that has had me frustrated for quite some time, which I thought had been finally resolved in October of 2007 but alas I was wrong.

As you may well know I am a single Mom with four little people, my ex husband has to pay Child Support (like any responsible father) for those little people, not directly because of him did I recently confirm how screwed up the governmental program designed to protect my children's and my best interest is. Here is a very brief timeline:

late 2006- after four years of being happily divorced and receiving a very low Child Support payment (in my opinion and the opinion of some other mothers' I know in my situation) I requested a revision be made for the CS (Child Support) my ex should pay.

late summer 2007- after almost a year , and three Hearings (a process that was continuously delayed due to the exes various pity me tactics. Men!) of trying to agree on a reasonable amount (we couldn't agree cause we agreed to disagree) an agreement was finally reached. (Me thinks my ex got a really good deal for himself.)

October 2007- First month I am supposed to see the slight increase in Child Support, also second month in which I have to make arrangements at work and be absent on a couple of occasions because I had no sitter, and very little help with the kids as a direct result to personal and professional setbacks experienced by my ex during that time, so he couldn't help out with the kids.

November 2007- After two months I've yet to receive the new amount agreed on for CS. I visit my local Child Support office to see what's going on. I am informed by their personnel that they didn't receive Sentencing or Resolution from the Court for my case, but they would process the new CS at that moment and that in January of 2008 I should not only receive the right amount in Child Support but I would also receive the retroactive amounts for the months of October and November owed to me (which would be in excess of $500.00).

January 2008- I anxiously await for the Child Support, mid month I finally receive it but not for the new amount as I was previously told, but for the original (before revision) amount, no new amount, no retroactive payments!!

After I got over my shock and disappointment I made various phone calls to try and figure out what's going on, while simultaneously trying to STRETCH the dollar to pay for medical insurance, utilities, and groceries, among others.
I was told that contrary to what they had previously informed me in November, according to their calculations my ex was up to date on his CS. Are you out of your mind? (was my first thought), and, How is it mathematically possible for him not to owe me money if I've yet to receive the new amount that we agreed upon? (was my second thought).
After many futile explanations on her part, none making sense, the employee told me she would be sending me the paperwork to justify her claims that no money was owed. Then she told me that if my ex knew the Child Support had gone up he should have made the corresponding payment personally to my account ( a bit difficult to do since both my ex and myself were under the assumption that the "professionals" would, as they told us, sort it all out).

Oh, did I mention I was let go at work because of the scheduling conflicts between my personal and professional life (it was a cordial parting). So now I'm unemployed (which might be a blessing in disguise, we'll see), and financially challenged since I'm not getting the money I was told I would receive.

So I ponder, what can I do to earn some extra money?
I can write, (which I'm currently doing) but does anyone even read this or care for that matter?
I'm guessing here, but for the lack of any feedback I'd say NO...okay so I can do translations. Close but no cigar since unfortunately in P.R. most, if not all translators are required to be Certified for their work to be valid. Therefore I can explore that avenue in about a year or two, after I take the exams and get certified. You get the idea....

So this morning my ex calls to let me know he went to follow up on the whole Child Support thing cause he doesn't want to get penalized if they later change their minds again and say he does owe me money. So now, he says he was informed that at some point in the last six years he had an overpayment (first time I hear about this) and that according to their numbers he owes me about $200.00, which he doesn't have to pay at once (and not the original amount which as I was told by the CS Office I was initially supposed to receive).

Now this is a summary, there's more baggage to this story but it might become a He Said/She Said because as my ex put it after our little argument this morning, "It's all a matter of perspective and you and I will agree to disagree. I think I give you more than enough you don't". (My ex is not an evil person, he's no Saint either, and honestly since it's my Blog the only perspective that matters is mine).

Although I will not disclose the amount I get in CS I will mention that between CS and unemployment each month I get less than $1,000.00 to support a family of five. I continue to amaze myself, cause I don't even know how I do it exactly, and still maintain my sanity and a good disposition.

To answer my own question I'll say it's a matter of Faith. Faith that things will get better once I obtain my BA and can hopefully become a certified translator, work mostly from home while I can spend time with my kids and earn enough to live comfortably (simple pleasures). Faith that things could always be so much worse and that even if it is at a snails pace progress and better things are in store. Faith that I do a good job as a parent and that my children will grow up to be good, kind, honest and hardworking successful people and professionals (even though I keep getting notes from the Kindergarten teacher about the twins attitudes, so inevitably the Dynamic Duo is being sent to the Counselors Office to see if she can bring them down a notch or two. And as a result I'm wondering if somehow I'm failing or a bad parent because my six year old's can't seem to behave all of the time. What can I do differently or better? but that's a topic for another day).... It's all about the Faith and the perseverance, and a lot of praying (and some financial assistance at times from the parental units, God Bless 'Em).

My Mom says I tend to be negative all of the time (I don't think all of the time, maybe some or most but not all) so I will find the silver lining within the setbacks and road blocks I encounter:
1- I walk my kids to and from school everyday and stay in shape by doing so.
2- I control my own time and have less stress from what I had when I was employed.
3- I can write, read and be creative, whenever I want to (which I so enjoy!)
4- Although not a wonderful relationship, I have a decent relationship with my ex and his new Girlfriend, which has thus far been a very decent woman with my children.
5- The Boyfriend helps out as much as he can, (even though he is communication challenged), but he's working on it.
6-My kids are happy, very opinionated children who laugh a lot and amaze me with their occurrences daily (even if I keep getting notes from Kindergarten).
7- Since I am unemployed I can go back to college and finish my BA and have a degree by June (finally after almost 15 years).
8- Even if I don't receive the amount I was initially told I'd be getting retroactively at least I'll receive something. But I still feel a bit upset and I feel I got screwed over because of bad communication and information skills on behalf of the Child Support Office's employee. She may think that it's not a big deal, but the lack of funds affects me greatly. Oh well, nobody is perfect!

I've Vented, I'm good!

See I'm optimistic, I just have a headache from hitting my head on so many walls.

Next time I'm planning to share the New Year's Eve hair debacle, in which The boyfriend decided he wanted to blow dry my hair. It wasn't pretty.

--DD